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A Good Life?
7-25-2014
Ramadan is prime time for reflection. During this month, I find myself reminded of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s concept of Flow once again. Flow Theory grew out of Csikszentmihalyi’s quest to empirically research, “What makes a good life?” His essential conclusion is a good life allows you to reach complete fulfillment of your potential while at the same time being connected to and contributing to something beyond yourself. For him, “The highest level of development is one at which a person has refined her uniqueness and is in control of her thoughts, feelings, and actions while at the same time relishing human diversity, and feeling at one with the cosmos.”
Flow is when you find yourself completely absorbed in a task that demands attention and compels you towards progress and learning more skills, rising to new levels of complexity. It is completely focused motivation. It’s that exhilarating sense of being alive and living a good life.
How do you create a good life?
One of the first steps is to define your priorities. What are your core values? What is worth living for? Worth dying for? Harken back to the ancient wisdom: ‘Know thyself’. Take time for self-awareness and contemplation. Ask the hard questions. What are the things that matter most? Are you devoting adequate time and energy to nurture them? Who do you admire? Why? Are you modeling yourself after them? What kind of person do you definitely not want to be? What are the values you will not compromise? Who do you intend to be? What is holding you back from being all that you can be?
The formidable journey of self-discovery encourages you to create who you want to be. Not just to survive in the present—but to view your entire life in total. Welcome death as your confidant, ask it: “Tell me, is this a good idea? Should I take this job, marry this person, develop this habit, or make this change? When I come to the end of my days, will I be sorry I did this? Or will I be thankful?”
Next develop your strengths and discover opportunities to apply them. Often times we live small lives. Our talents lie buried inside us—our potential untapped. We don’t even know what we’re good at because we are too afraid to take risks.
In the Quran, we are admonished not to deny Allah’s blessings. He has endowed you with unique talents and expects them to be used. Explore as many of your abilities as possible so you don’t miss any dormant aptitudes. Anything you can do well, that you enjoy doing, and that there is a need for, is worth taking seriously as a skill to develop.
Be curious. Don’t waste your life in apathy or passive pleasure. Notice opportunities for action—be involved. Keep cultivating interests, embrace opportunity, and develop as many skills as possible.
In order to do this you must master your consciousness. We fall into routines and live on autopilot. Instead you must learn to align your attention, time, and habits with your ultimate vision for yourself.
Your life is shaped by what you decide to pay attention to. Habits creep into our lives. Sometimes they are the result of discipline where we consciously choose a sustained course of action. But generally habits develop out of passivity. We do things that are easy and pleasurable—even though they do not lead towards growth and satisfaction. Do you allocate your attention based on your core values? Define your priorities and stick to them. Shape your habits well because your habits will shape your life.
Prayer should be one of your most important habits. Through prayer you reconnect with your soul. Your purpose in life is reaffirmed. Prayer guides you to the straight path. For many people, prayer is flow—where time stand stills, thoughts and actions are in sync, concentration is complete and you lose yourself in humbleness.
Prayer reminds us that our life on earth is fleeting and yet incredibly significant. Eternity depends on how we invest our time and energy here on earth. You have unique responsibilities—a personal destiny, a calling to fulfill. You reach your full potential, and true happiness, through three simple phases. First, do your best. In every endeavour, you have the option to do your best. Set high personal standards and commit to them. Secondly, help others. Being of service to others is an inexhaustible source of inspiration and energy that yields endless satisfaction. And finally, build a better world—if you don’t do it, who will?
More information can be found by searching Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow, or Positive Psychology. Zainab Dhanani can be reached at z_dhanani@yahoo.ca
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